5 Tips for Supporting your Chid’s Transition back to Nursery and Primary School

Life has been very different for us all since lockdown began on the 23rd March. There are still so many unknowns and it can be challenging for parents to make decisions with regard childcare and education for their children. Whether you have chosen for your child to return to nursery/school or whether you have made this choice out of necessity (perhaps both), I hope the following tips help you and your child prepare for this transition:

1. Get comfortable with your decision – As we try to acclimatise to a new ‘normal’, it is natural for us and our children to experience differing levels of anxiety and a huge range of feeling. As parents, we are having to navigate completely new territory.

It is important (whatever your decision re nursery/school) that you take time to ‘make peace’ with this choice. It might be helpful to talk through any concerns you may have with a friend, partner or your child’s teacher.

Parent and professional opinion on this subject is rife on social media platforms and what’s app groups but it can be helpful to remember that this is a personal decision and not one that we need to justify to others. It is important that you are as comfortable as possible with this choice before you engage in preparing your child for their transition back to nursery or school. This will limit the potential for any of your feelings (i.e. guilt or worry) to muddy your child’s separate feelings and experience.

2. Help them to prepare emotionally – Give children ample time to work through their own feelings about their return to nursery/school. I would normally suggest at least 2 weeks but be guided by your child and their needs.

Prior to this time, you can begin by ‘sowing some seeds’ i.e. talking about their teachers and friends (and following their lead if they choose not to engage). Provide opportunity for your child to ask questions and to process any feelings or concerns that this news might bring to the surface.

It is difficult for children to verbalise their feelings in a satisfying way. Play enables children to make sense of the world around them in a far more colourful and safe way. Provide opportunity for free (self-directed) play. If they ask you for your involvement, you can follow their lead and reflect back what is happening in the narrative i.e. ‘oh the baby tiger is in one cave and the mummy tiger is in the other’. Be careful of assuming feeling as we often get this wrong! For example, ‘oh the baby tiger looks lonely’ (he may well be enjoying his separate space)!

You could also prepare a certificate or age appropriate letter which reflects on the ways that you have seen you child ‘grow’ during the lockdown period. For example specific examples of kind actions, life skills they may have developed and the contribution they have made to helping the family find their way through this unusual time. This will help your child to develop confidence and associate positively with the individual journey they have made.

3. Help them to ‘rehearse’ their return – When preparing a young child to start nursery or school, it can be useful to help them act out this experience via role-play or object play (i.e. with dolls, teddies or figures). This can help children to engage more closely (and safely) with their feelings about the forthcoming change and any anxiety associated with their separation from you.

If you think it might be helpful, you could explore a special handshake or hug which you can share on their first day back. Connection games can also help nurture their attachment with you and build confidence in readiness for this transition. For example, hide and seek, rough and tumble play (with safe limits) or the ‘Don’t go’ game where you hold onto your child (in an embrace) and they are the ones to leave (as you beg and plead with them to stay and of course chase after them as soon as they run away)! Children often ask to repeat this game over and over.

4. Help them to prepare practically – Help your child to acclimatise to their new routine by practising the morning ritual that you had prior to lockdown or the one you intend to use when they start back at nursery/school. This might include an earlier bedtime and wake time, dressing in their uniform, changing the time they eat breakfast and/or even doing the ‘school run’ so that they are comfortable and familiar with these changes in advance. Consistency and predictable boundaries are also key as these help children to feel safe as other aspects of their experience shift.

Take time to talk to your child about the ways that their nursery/school will be different. For example, smaller groups, regular hand washing, lack of soft furnishings etc. Explain that these changes have been put in place because the parents and teachers are working together to keep everybody safe.

5. Trust in your child’s capacity to manage this transition in their own way – Finally, try to remember that we are all navigating this new territory together and it will take time for adults and children alike to adjust and settle into a new way of being.

Connection is always key. Both in preparation for and during their start at nursery/school, make time for regular ‘connection pit-stops’ where your child can experience their closeness to you in tangible ways i.e. through a game or cuddle (observe what types of connection are most rewarding for your child). Remember that children may need more reassurance (as they experience differences in the world around them) and touch (given that they are receiving less physical contact with familiar people outside of the home). Most importantly, trust in your intuition and in your child’s ability to find their way through this time in their own unique way, with the support of their teachers and family.

N.B. Children often understand more than we think they do! Whether or not you have talked in detail to your child about Coronavirus, start by asking them questions about what they understand. You can then dispel any myths or concerns that they may have with regards the virus.

Please get in touch if you would like to enquire about parenting support during this period.
katie@roots-parentingsupport.co.uk